With the release of Jurassic World Rebirth, we’re taking a look at the roster of characters from this latest era of the Universal Pictures and Amblin blockbuster franchise, where the dinosaurs tend to be the most memorable stars. Rexy, the T-Rex, reigns supreme, of course, but the old girl has been carrying the franchise on her back for over 30 years.
When it comes to the humans of Jurassic World, have any of them hit the icon status of Jurassic Park’s original trinity? No one has come close to Dr. Ellie Sattler, Dr. Grant, and Ian Malcolm, but attempts continue to be made. With that in mind, here’s our list of Jurassic World characters ranked based on how much we wanted them to be eaten by dinosaurs, from most deserving to least.
Owen Grady (Chris Pratt): Owen’s always been a non-essential character, a Raptor handler with an inflated ego who doesn’t offer much other than he’s sort of a dino whisperer who gets John McClane’d. He’s supporting Blue, the real Jurassic World icon. Grady just can’t help but insert himself as the main character with his little hand power move.
Dr. Lewis Dodgson (Campbell Scott): His actions led to all the conflict in the Jurassic Park and Jurassic World stories. All those lives lost and endangered while he became BioSyn’s oligarchal villain—we’re glad he finally did get got by the chomp.
Martin Krebs (Rupert Friend): This new character deserves the chomp for simply being a bold-faced liar and endangering a new crew for a pharmaceutical drug’s planned monopoly on a heart disease cure.
Vic Hoskins (Vincent D’Onofrio): Yeah, this sleazy Jurassic World handler getting death by raptors was well earned.
Ian Malcolm (Jeff Goldblum): This might be controversial, but there’s too much plot armor on the original cast members. Malcolm should have been discovered by Dodgson as a mole and killed, prompting Ellie and Alan’s return—it may have raised the stakes in a better story.
Maisie Lockwood (Isabella Sermon): This is not a real child; it is a part-raptor and part-human clone hybrid that unleashes the dinosaurs into our world. In a move that’s survival of the fittest, it’s kind of really creepy and unsettling. She also hunts her servant in the beginning of Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom with raptor precision—again, creepy.
Simon Masrani (Irrfan Khan): Investing in opening Jurassic World? What a mess, and he got what he deserved.
Soyona Santos (Dichen Lachman): Her covert attempts to lead the charge on the dino black market keep the prehistoric animals weaponizable; it has to end… eventually. And we hope it’s at the jaws of her raptor, Red.
Zora Bennett (Scarlett Johansson): The leading Jurassic World Rebirth mercenary is the one who agrees to go along with Krebs’s plans for money and puts her team at risk for one last big score. We want to see her get eaten if anything happens to the little girl and the tiny dino in the newest film.
Bobby Atwater (Ed Skrien): Okay, our favorite Game of Thrones Daario has a shocking exit from Jurassic World Rebirth so early on it’s hardly a spoiler. That being said, we wanted more of his character interacting with the rest of the crew.
Claire Dearing (Bryce Dallas Howard): Claire’s incompetence played a role in the events of Jurassic World, and fixing it came down to relying on Owen to help. Thankfully, because she splits off on her own to do things her way and make amends, we don’t want to see her get taken out by dinos as much as we did when she ran away from one in heels.
Franklin and Zia (Justice Smith and Daniella Pineda): This Dinosaur Protection Group duo should have been elevated to main characters, as they spiritually felt more in line with Ellie Sattler and Alan Grant than whatever Claire and Owen were doing. We’re glad they haven’t gotten eaten but wish they’d been developed more.
Zara, Claire’s assistant (Katie McGrath): Justice for Zara! Her death still strikes us as unnecessarily brutal, and she really should have just left those Jurassic World kids and quit.
Kayla Watts (DeWanda Wise): Another underdeveloped character who was more interesting than most of Jurassic World’s attempts at leads. The military pilot, whose skills make sense to have, is on our list of folks we wish we saw more of, while others got chomped.
Jimmy Buffett: The Margaritaville legend, tropical drink double-fister, and all-around paradise enthusiast will always be remembered for his scene-stealing Jurassic World moment. Icons like that never die.
Dr. Henry Wu (BD Wong): Listen, we need a Dr. Henry Wu point of view of the events of both Jurassic franchises because it’d be so interesting to see his trajectory from up-and-coming geneticist on an opportunity of a lifetime who then turns heel. He needs to go into his old age grappling with what he did and maybe eventually walk into Rexy’s mouth.
Dr. Loomis (Jonathan Bailey): We don’t want one drop of dino-spit on Dr. Loomis’ sexylittleglasses. Too pure for the world, he’s the ultimate Dr. Grant fanboy who gets to live his dreams and share important insight as to why all living creatures should be protected. A 10/10 new Jurassic hero, he offers more than just looks and brawn—he’s got brains (see: glasses).
Duncan Kincaid (Mahershala Ali): Just let him lead a huge movie already. From now on he should be the captain of any missions involving dinosaur business. He outruns the Mossasaur, granted by crash landing on the new island in Jurassic World Rebirth—but still very badass.
The Nublar 6 from DreamWorks’ Jurassic World series: The best serial storytelling in the Jurassic World franchise is in the animated shows. No joke, the story of the six kids who end up stranded on Jurassic World after going to the theme park’s camp really weaves in and out of the real complexities of an average person experiencing a dino-disaster. Their escape informs how the life they led on the island helps them rise to the challenge of helping others now going through a world overrun by dinosaurs. It’s the sort of engaging and relatable character work we wanted from the movies.
Dr. Alan Grant (Sam Neill): May his grumpiness at everything go on until the end of his days. Now that Loomis and Grant share dino experiences, we hope they team up with the franchise’s strongest characters eventually.
The Delgado family in Jurassic World Rebirth plus Xavier: The Delgados go through so much; facing swimming spinosauruses and getting caught up in Krebs’ nonsense made for one hell of a family vacation. We did love how they, along with the comedic relief of open-shirt Xavier, managed well enough on their own.
Dr. Ellie Sattler (Laura Dern): “Woman inherits the earth.” Making Ellie Sattler the star is still the movie we want; have her find the dinosaur solution, defeat Dr. Wu, and ride Rexy into the sunset with Dr. Grant on a Jurassic Planet.
Jurassic World Rebirth is now in theaters.
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